Recibido: 29 de agosto de 2023; Aceptado: 3 de agosto de 2024; : 1 de enero de 2025
Tensions and Turning Points: A Narrative Study about Professional Identities of Two Colombian English Teachers
Tensões e pontos de inflexão: um estudo narrativo sobre identidades profissionais de duas professoras colombianas de inglés
Tensiones y puntos de inflexión: un estudio narrativo sobre las identidades profesionales de dos profesoras colombianas de inglés
Abstract
This research article explores the tensions and turning points experienced by two English teachers from the onset of their careers to their enrollment ina Master’s Degree program inApplied Linguistics For Teaching English. As researchers, we assume that the process of becoming anEnglish teacher is social and co-constructed over time. Withinthis co-construction, the English teachers underwent moments of tensionthrough which they had to make goal-oriented decisions related to their profession. Theoretical constructs suggest that identity constructionis a dynamic and fluctuating process, with teachers continuously using their agency and investing inconstituting their identities. The methodology employed writtenautobiographical narratives and narrative interviews for data collection. The analysis of these narratives revealed a sequence of critical moments that significantly influenced the formationof the participants’ identities, highlighting the role of agency innavigating emerging tensions. Findings indicate that teacher identity constructionis influenced by the destabilizing nature of teacher educationprograms and the inherent tensions withinthese programs and teachers’ broader professional journeys. The study concludes by emphasizing the need for teacher educationprograms inColombia to support teachers’ identity construction, enabling them to integrate and reflect their evolving self-conceptions intheir pedagogical discourses and practices. The pedagogical implications rely onhow teacher educationprograms inColombia understand and support the constructionof teacher identity and how teachers embody and reflect their new understanding of themselves intheir pedagogical discourses and praxis.
Keywords:
language teacher identity, narratives, tensions, language teacher education.Resumo
Este artigo de pesquisa explora as tensões e os pontos de inflexão experimentados por duas professoras de inglês desde o início de suas carreiras atéa matrícula em um programa de mestrado em Linguística Aplicada ao ensino de inglês Como pesquisadores, assumimos que o processo de se tornar professor de inglês ésocial e co-construído ao longo do tempo. Dentro dessa co-construção, os professores de inglês passaram por momentos de tensão nos quais tiveram que tomar decisões orientadas para objetivos relacionados àsua profissão. Os construtos teóricos sugerem que a construção da identidade éum processo dinâmico e flutuante, no qual os professores continuamente usam sua agência e investem na constituição de suas identidades. A metodologia empregada incluiu narrativas autobiográficas escritas e entrevistas narrativas para a coleta de dados. A análise dessas narrativas revelou uma sequência de momentos críticos que influenciaram significativamente a formação das identidades dos participantes, destacando o papel da agência na navegação pelas tensões emergentes. Os achados indicam que a construção da identidade docente éinfluenciada pela natureza desestabilizadora dos programas de formação de professores e pelas tensões inerentes a esses programas e às trajetórias profissionais mais amplas dos professores. O estudo conclui enfatizando a necessidade de que os programas de formação de professores na Colômbia apoiem a construção da identidade dos professores, permitindo que integrem e reflitam suas concepções de si mesmos em evolução em seus discursos e práticas pedagógicas. As implicações pedagógicas dependem de como os programas de formação de professores na Colômbia entendem e apoiam a construção da identidade docente, e de como os professores incorporam e refletem seu novo entendimento de si mesmos em seus discursos e práticas pedagógicas.
Palavras-chave:
identidade do professor de línguas, narrativas, tensões, formação de professores de línguas.Resumen
Este artículo de investigación explora las tensiones y los puntos de inflexión experimentados por dos profesoras de inglés desde el inicio de sus carreras hasta su matriculación en un Máster en Lingüística Aplicada a la enseñanza del inglés. Como investigadores, asumimos que el proceso de convertirse en profesor de inglés es social y se co-construye con el tiempo. Dentro de esta co-construcción, las profesoras de inglés pasaron por momentos de tensiónenlos cuales tuvieron que tomar decisiones orientadas a objetivos relacionados con su profesión. Los constructos teóricos sugieren que la construcción de la identidad es un proceso dinámico y fluctuante, en el que los profesores utilizan continuamente su agencia e invierten en la constitución de sus identidades. La metodología empleada incluyó narraciones autobiográficas escritas y entrevistas narrativas para la recolección de datos. El análisis de estas narraciones reveló una secuencia de momentos críticos que influyeron significativamente en la formación de las identidades de los participantes, destacando el papel de la agencia en la navegación de las tensiones emergentes. Los resultados indican que la construcción de la identidad docente está influenciada por la naturaleza desestabilizadora de los programas de formación del profesorado y las tensiones inherentes a estos programas y a las trayectorias profesionales más amplias de los docentes. El estudio concluye enfatizando la necesidad de que los programas de formación docente en Colombia apoyen la construcción de la identidad de los maestros, permitiéndoles integrar y reflejar sus autoconcepciones evolutivas en sus discursos y prácticas pedagógicas. Las implicaciones pedagógicas dependen de cómo los programas de formación docente en Colombia entienden y apoyan la construcción de la identidad de los maestros, así como la forma en que ellos encarnan y reflejan su nueva comprensión de sí mismos en sus discursos y su praxis pedagógica.
Palabras clave:
identidad del profesor de idiomas, narrativas, tensiones, formación de docentes de idiomas.Introduction
Exploring our language teacher identities means understanding our lived and living history. It is to understand and unravel the complexities that are at the core of who we are onall levels.
(Varghese, et al., 2016, p. 566)
This study emerged from our shared interest inexploring complex journey teachers undertake as they develop their professional identities intheir personal, career, and academic contexts. We aimed to reveal teachers’ self-cons tructions by using their narratives as a platform to express their lived experiences. The study seeks to contribute to the expanding field of English Language Teaching (ELT) by highlighting the importance of understanding Language Teacher Identities (LTIS) at central to teacher educationand professional development. lti scholarship advocates for a language teacher educationapproach that integrates identity as a core principle withinteacher educationprograms (Varghese et al., 2016; Uştuk & Yazan, 2023). This article discusses the tensions experienced by two English teachers from the beginning of their careers to the start of their master’s degree inapplied linguistics for teaching English.
As authors, we assume that being and becoming anEnglish teacher is a social process that unfolds over time. Similarly, we perceive identity constructionas dynamic and multifaceted rather thanstatic and singular. Teachers exercise their agency and continually invest inshaping their identities. As they navigate their social environments, they inevitably encounter internal conflicts with societal expectations and with themselves. Their professional expectations, aspirations, beliefs, discourses, and practices regarding the kind of teachers they are and wish to become oftenconflict with dominant discourses prevalent intheir personal, professional, and academic environ ments (Alsup, 2019; Uştuk & Yazan, 2023). Teachers interpret these moments by narrating their lives, and these narratives provide a space for teachers to derive meaning from internal conflicts and to (re)construct and (re) negotiate their identities. Withinthis co-construction, the participants inthis study illustrated how teachers oftenundergo many moments of tensionthat require them to make goal-oriented decisions.
This document departs from the theoretical considerations that support a poststructuralist perspective on LTIs. We argue that teachers negotiate a sense of self inrelationto social structures, drawing onpersonal discursive constructions formed through their lived experiences as language learners and teachers. We understand language as a means for teachers to represent themselves and engage with authoritative discourses through dialogic (dialectic) interactions. Subsequently, we explore the potential of narrative inquiry to give voice to teachers’ lived experiences and provide insights into the tensions they face intheir personal, professional, and academic lives. The following sectionoutlines the four tensions identified inthe teachers’ narratives and the resulting turning points intheir practices, discourses, and, ultimately, their identities.
Theoretical Considerations
Language Teacher Identities
The concept of identity inLanguage Teacher Education (LTE) has gained significant attentionover recent decades (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009; Varghese et al., 2005). As classrooms have increasingly beenrecognized as complex and multidimensional environments, teachers are no longer viewed as passive technicians. Instead, they are encouraged to adopt more critical perspectives, positioning themselves as transformative intellectuals (Giroux, 1988). The post-method perspective has introduced new roles for teachers, challenging existing views on language teaching and advocating for a shift inhow we understand language classrooms (Kumaravadivelu, 2003). Consequently, the teachers’ role has evolved to focus onempowering students by developing critical pedagogies to provide them with the knowledge and social skills needed to participate effectively insociety and become transformative agents (Giroux, 1988). Despite these advancements, there are concerns about Teacher EducationPrograms (TEPs) that may not prioritize ltis as their foundational element (Varghese et al., 2016).
Conceptualizing identity poses a significant challenge inthe literature due to the vast array of perspectives and fields intersecting with this concept (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009; Olsen, 2008). Nevertheless, within LTE, scholarship has emphasized the importance of addressing teachers’ identity constructionto gaina deeper understanding of their professional development (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009). Scholars have acknowledged the inherent relationship betweenlearning-to-teach, teaching practice, and identity (Uştuk & Yazan, 2023). This has led to examining LTI from both poststructuralist and narrative perspectives. The former allows us to conceptualize LTI as grounded inthe multilayered and kaleidoscopic nature of language, built uponthe dynamics of discourse (Norton & Toohey, 2011; Rudolph et al., 2018), while the latter reflects onthe way teachers construct identities by narrating their life experiences (Barkhuizen, 2015a).
To begin, we acknowledge the constitutive dimensionof the self withinthe language (Kumaravadivelu, 2012). From a poststructuralist perspective, we recognize language as a means of self-representation. Individuals construct their sense of self withinthe dynamics of discourse as they engage ininteractions mediated by dialogue inthe social world. This perspective acknowledges the mutually constitutive relationship betweenidentity and discursive practices, and how individuals negotiate their sense of self through interaction(Norton& Toohey, 2011). Therefore, teachers’ interactions intheir daily lives, educational programs, and teaching scenarios shape their identities as they engage indialogue. Thus, identities are viewed as ongoing and continuously shaped by teachers’ personal and professional contexts (Olsen, 2011).
By understanding language ininteractionas a social practice and as a means of self-representation, we recognize that teachers “have the power and autonomy to express their voice and exhibit their identities” (Kumaravadivelu, 2006, p. 182). Consequently, ltis are shaped and enacted through the decisions, practices, and activities that teachers engage in. This process is bidirectional; as teachers exercise agency, make decisions, and immerse themselves intheir practices, they enact their identities through language. However, every time this happens, they negotiate and renegotiate their sense of self. Therefore, identity becomes both anindividual and a social construction. This discursive mode of understanding identity is supported by Norton (2010), who claims that “every time we speak, we are negotiating and renegotiating our sense of self concerning the larger social world, and reorganizing that relationship across time and space.” (p. 350). Hence, it canbe asserted that ltis are dialogically constituted through discourse withinthe cultural, social, and power mechanisms of interaction, which are pivotal inthe process of being and becoming.
A poststructuralist perspective onlanguage teachers’ identities acknowledges that identity is not singular or fixed but is constructed withinthe dynamics of discourse. This dialogic and discursive dimensionof identity allows us to see the fluidity of identity inthe roles that teachers assume and their agency inresponding to imposed positionalities ascribed to them by others’ discourses. Moreover, discourse dynamics are understood not merely through the dialogic process of conversationand interactionbut also inthe various ways teachers story3 themselves and the meaning-making they construct over their lived stories (Barkhuizen, 2015a). Inthis trainof thought, teachers shape, negotiate, and/or alter their identities while making meaning of the stories they tell.
Drawing ona poststructuralist approach to ltis, we also understand that identities are inherently connected to the narrative constructions of lived experiences and the meanings individuals assignto those stories (Bruner, 2002). Narratives not only have the potential to exhibit teachers’ identities but also to reflect the meaning teachers derive from their lived experiences. Thus, narratives have the potential to explore teachers’ storied lives and experiences, as well as the meanings they create inward, outward (individual-social), backward, and forward (past-present-future) ontheir ownprofessional landscapes (Johnson & Golombek, 2002; Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). This potential allows us to traverse the new significance and meanings that teachers create based ontheir dialogic interactions and experiences withintheir sociocultural-political contexts.
The latter perspective aligns with a view of ltis that acknowledges the power of dialogue and interaction, as well as the role of language inself-representation. This dialogue involves not only social interactions but also aninternal dialogue with one’s ownbeliefs, shaped by lived experiences. Narratives serve as a mechanism for valida ting teachers’ voices and their localized knowledge. Ina field dominated by hegemonic discourses (Pennycook, 1989), narrative constructionof the self-offers anopportunity for teachers to reflect ontheir practice, making their knowledge both public and validated (Johnson & Golombek, 2002). Therefore, we understand that individuals do self while storying their personal, professional, and academic selves. Hence, identities are constructed withina temporal dimension(Elliot, 2005; Kramp, 2004), spanning teachers’ past experiences, their current self-cons tructions, and their envisioned future identities.
A narrative approach to identity allows us to explore how teachers experience tensions throughout their life stories and educational journeys. Onthe one hand, Kumaravadivelu (2012) suggests that teachers canundergo an‘epistemic break,’ which involves shifting paradigms towards a more critical perspective of the self and the discourses and practices surrounding their teaching. Onthe other hand, Uştuk & Yazan (2023) conceptualize tensions as potential conflicts betweenteachers’ internal persuasive discourses and external authoritative discourses. Inother words, teachers’ beliefs, practices, and discourses are oftenchallenged by external interactions, discourses, and social dynamics involving other sociocultural and political actors (e.g., individuals, institutions, policies, regulations, theories). These challenges are understood as opportunities for (re)conceptualizing practices, discourses, and, ultimately, the self.
As teachers grapple with accepting or rejecting external discourses, their identities are (re)shaped, negotiated, and positioned inspecific ways. At this point, teachers exert agency to embrace or reject these external positiona lities. Consequently, identities become a dilemma (Barkhuizen, 2021) and a site of struggle, as individuals strive to balance their ownbelief systems with those encountered intheir daily interactions. ltis become a dilemma because teachers find themselves challenging their ownperspectives against those from external sources. Similarly, Barkhuizen (2016) acknowledges that identities are constantly reshaped as individuals oftenadjust and readjust their configurations inresponse to their lived experiences and interactions. Therefore, ltis understanding from a poststructuralist and narrative perspective highlights the potential of tensions to lead to changes or turning points, enabling teachers to (re)construct their identities.
Language Teacher Education from a Sociocultural Perspective
Over the past half-century, the understanding of Language Teacher Education (LTE) has changed dramatically (Freeman, 2002; Johnson, 2006; Johnson & Golombek, 2011). Inrecent decades, this shift has responded to a growing body of literature onteachers’ cognition. Freeman (2009) introduced the concept of a widening gyre to capture the mainstream paradigms intersecting the field of LTE. The author contends that the field has evolved from training-focused perspectives to aninterpretative approach that examines teachers’ cognitionand how they engage inprofessional learning processes.
Before the 1970s, the interest in LTE was mainly onteachers’ behaviors and their learning outcomes, emphasizing a training perspective where teachers mastered content related to language, theories of Second Language Acquisition, and effective teaching methods (Freeman, 2002; Johnson, 2006). The 1980s marked a shift toward exploring the cognitive dimensions of learning and the decision-making processes inthe classroom. The 1990s brought about a deeper understanding and consolidationof teachers’ learning. The growing interest inteachers’ knowledge base and the nature of their learning led to a more thorough examinationof teaching itself. Unsurprisingly, LTE during this period involved understanding what teachers needed to learnand how they would learnit Freeman (2009). This broader scope for understanding teachers’ learning acknowledged that teachers’ cognitionis shaped inthe sociocultural context (Johnson, 2006). Inother words, teachers’ learning is grounded intheir prior experiences, their interactions, and the sociocultural contexts inwhich they learnand work. Consequently, we canargue that LTE has evolved alongside epistemological shifts inhow research conceptualizes humanlearning (Johnson, 2006). Similarly, the field of ELT has benefited from scholars whose primary focus over the past two decades has beento contribute to teachers’ professional development withinteacher educationprograms, advocating for a more critical and decolonial perspective (Guerrero-Nieto, 2023).
Rooted inVygotsky’s (1978) theoretical tenets, a sociocultural approach recognizes humancognitionas a dynamic process that is socially constructed and culturally shaped. This theory acknowledges the inherent relationship betweenthe cognitive and the social. Learning is not anaccumulative set of information; it is situated inthe physical and social realms and is mediated by people, contexts, language, and interactions (Johnson & Golombek, 2018; Johnson, 2009). Essentially, a sociocultural perspective also recognizes language as a social practice. Meaning is not solely embedded inlanguage but also inthe meanings that a social group ascribes to the language. Consequently, the act of learning by anindividual is not anisolated cognitive process, as earlier cognitive approaches suggested. Instead, learning is grounded inthe individual’s prior experiences, the context inwhich learning occurs, and the use of that knowledge expected from the individual (Johnson, 2009).
Since LTE, at its core, is centered onunderstanding teachers as learners of teaching, the epistemological principles of sociocultural theory have the potential to unveil the nature and emergence of teachers’ identities and their experienced tensions, highlighting the interplay betweencognitive dimensions and the sociocultural contexts inwhich they operate (Johnson, 2009). Social practices and interactions encountered inlearning and working environments, such as specific schools and institutions, shape teachers’ understanding of how to teach. This is not a simple process of acculturationfrom the outside in; rather, as Vygotsky (1978) suggests, learning occurs through a dynamic transformationfrom the external (Interpsychological) to the internal (Intrapsychological), and this process is not direct but mediated (Johnson & Golombek, 2011). This mediationunderscores the transformative internalizationprocess (from external-social to internal-psychological). During this process, individuals use various tools, such as cognitive strategies or self-regulatory practices, to mediate betweenexternal influences and their ownintra-psychological understanding.
In this vein, teachers learnhow to teach not only the scientific concepts that are present inthe content base of their (TEPs) but also by creating meaning and knowledge from the everyday concepts drawnfrom their experiential knowledge intheir working environment. This dynamic opens the scope for TEPs to provide spaces where teachers canmake sense of scientific concepts and apply them inpractical ways, relating these concepts to their experiential knowledge gained through teaching activities Johnson & Golombek, 2011). The responsibility of TEPs, therefore, is to bridge the gap betweentheory and practice and integrate them into praxis (Freire, 1970), establishing a dialogic relationship where each informs the other. However, this remains a challenging task for LTE, as the theoretical knowledge presented inteps oftenremains disconnected from practical applicationincurrent teaching practices. Furthermore, there has beenlimited emphasis ondeveloping a sustained model of LTE that positions LTIs as the core organizational principle. This study, instead, advocates for understanding LTIs as a fundamental axis in the constructionof a transformative practice for LTE inthe country.
Consequently, a sociocultural perspective contributes to understanding the various shades of teachers’ learning and their interrelatedness with their identities. Firstly, it allows us to comprehend the cognitive development of teachers inlight of the social practices that mediate it. Secondly, it highlights the transformative impact of social practices onteachers’ teaching methods, enabling them to be responsive to local needs. Thirdly, it recognizes that teachers’ knowledge of how to teach is largely drawnfrom teachers’ ownexperiences as learners (Johnson, 2009). This perspective supports a self-inquiry approach to LTE, where narrative accounts enable teachers to reflect ontheir development and identity as educators, allowing them to (re)construct and (re)interpret their learning-to-teach experiences (Johnson & Golombek, 2018).
Methodology
Inthis study, we adopted a qualitative approach due to its unique characteristics that contribute to understanding complex phenomena and provide a comprehensive depth to our understanding of them (Creswell & Poth, 2018). Additionally, we believe that through a qualitative approach, we cancapture the richness of subjective humanexperiences, enhancing the thoroughness of our study (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). As teacher-researchers, we also find that the flexibility of the qualitative approach makes it ideal for exploring dynamic and evolving phenomena, as it allows us to focus onthe richness and relevance of the data that emerge from the participants (Merriam & Tisdell, 2016).
Our study aimed to explore the tensions and turning points that two English teachers experienced from the beginning of their careers until the start of their master’s degree inapplied linguistics for teaching English. To investigate this, we turned to narrative research. From the poststructuralist and narrative perspectives, we understand that identities are constructed discursively (Bruner, 2002). Narrative research, with its focus onthe stories individuals tell about their lives, is particularly well-suited to exploring these aspects of identity, including the tensions and dilemmas that teachers face as they negotiate their identities (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000; Uştuk & Yazan, 2023). These narratives are both reflections of reality and active constructions that teachers use to make sense of their past, present, and future selves. Narratives allow for anin-depth understanding of the participants’ stories and perspectives, highlighting the subjective and contextual aspects of their journeys as language teachers (Barkhuizen, 2016; Clandinin & Connelly, 2000).
Narrative inquiry involves collecting and analyzing the stories individuals tell about their experiences to discover how they construct, negotiate, and enact their identities over time (Barkhuizen, 2015a). Accordingly, we use autobiographical narratives to collect firsthand accounts that provide insights into each teacher’s internal dialogues, their responses to external pressures, and the stresses they experience intheir professional lives (Chase, 2011). Autobiographical narratives are personal accounts of “one’s memory of oneself, one’s history, and one’s critical moments” (Hernánde et al., 2011, p. 29). The data extracted from these narratives are presented as vignettes connected to epiphanies or critical moments that describe a place, time, and characters (Barkhuizen et al., 2014). The researchers asked the participants of this study to write anautoethnographic narrative that would first show their story as English learners and their journey as in-service teachers, and secondly, their story as master’s students inapplied linguistics. However, although tenstudents from the master’s program agreed to write the autobiography, only two agreed to continue with the narrative interview.
We conducted a narrative interview with each participant to complement the informationcollected inthe autobiographies. A narrative interview is a specific type of in-depth interview suitable for reconstructing subjective processes that unfold over time. Unlike traditional in-depth interviews, narrative interviews do not have a pre-es tablished script of questions (Agoff & Herrera, 2019). Therefore, whenconducting these interviews, we did not focus onselecting topics, ordering questions, or specifying the language used. During the interviews, each teacher was free to express themselves about the events narrated inthe autobiographies, while the moderators asked questions as the conversationprogressed. This method allowed us to gather additional vignettes that enriched the understanding of the critical events recounted inthe autobiographies and related them to the context of teacher education(Riessman, 2008). It is essential to clarify that although the participants are native Spanish speakers, the data was collected in English.
The informationprovided by the two participants through the two instruments allowed us to characterize them accurately. Carolina is from Cartagena and works virtually for a language school. She was anm.a. candidate whose narrative departed from her initial disinterest inbeing a teacher or a researcher while studying for her B.A. inSpanish linguistics. Although she had more thantwo years of experience as anEnglish teacher whenshe joined the master’s program, she felt lost because her peers seemed more knowledgeable about language teaching due to their teaching degrees. Nevertheless, this fact did not discourage her from fulfilling her duties inthe master’s program.
Johana is from Bogotá and works ina public school inthe southernpart of the city. During her B.A., Johana focused ondeveloping strategies for teaching grammar. She worked for different institutions, developing various projects with governmental agencies, and she considered herself a teacher-researcher. However, whenshe started the M.A. program, she broadened her understanding, realizing that her previous research initiatives were just initial steps compared to what it truly means to become a teacher-researcher. As a result of her master’s studies, Johana reconstructed her teaching practices with a renewed purpose, advocating for a reconciliationof the English class curriculum with the knowledges of the communities. These participants were selected because they represent different contexts and experiences withinlanguage teaching inColombia, offering diverse perspectives ontheir journeys as language teachers.
To ensure ethical considerations inthis research, we asked both participants to provide informed consent before their involvement inthe study. The participants were provided with detailed informationabout the purpose of the study, the data collectionmethods, and their rights as participants. They were also assured of their right to withdraw from the study at any time without consequences. Informed consent serves as the primary resource to guarantee ethics inresearch, ensuring that participants are aware of their involvement and rights (Creswell, 2013).
The data analysis followed a thematic approach (Barkhuizen et al., 2014). First, we read the vignettes repeatedly to identify the mainthemes that emerged from the narratives. Second, we determined the themes from the data and organized the vignettes ina matrix to facilitate a comprehensive reading of the data. The analysis process included familiarizationwith the data, generating initial codes, searching for themes, reviewing and refining themes, and finally, defining and naming the themes (Barkhuizen et al., 2014; Braun & Clarke, 2006).
Regarding our positionality as researchers, we acknowledge our roles as active interpreters and meaning-makers withinthe narrative inquiry process. Our experiences, beliefs, and perspectives inevitably shape our engagement with the participants’ narratives and the subsequent interpretationof the data (Chase, 2011). As language educators, our backgrounds and personal narratives significantly influence the research process and findings. By reflexively examining our positionality and being acutely aware of our biases, we strive to enhance the transparency and trustworthiness of the research (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). This reflexivity is essential innarrative research, where the interplay betweenthe stories of the researchers and the participants contributes to a deeper, more nuanced understanding of the phenomena. Ensuring transparency involves openly acknowledging our influence onthe research process, while trustworthiness is boosted by our commitment to reflexivity and ethical rigor ininterpreting and presenting narratives. These principles are foundational innarrative research, reinforcing the credibility and authenticity of the co-constructed meanings derived from the inquiry (Riessman, 2008).
Findings: Tensions and Turning Points
The data analysis revealed two key elements inthe teachers’ narratives: tensions and turning points. Tensions refer to internal conflicts that arise from reconciling professional expectations with personal beliefs and aspirations, leading to struggles with self-conception(Alsup, 2019; Menard-Warwick, 2013; Pillen et al., 2013). Turning points, onthe other hand, are pivotal moments that significantly alter beliefs or practices, oftentriggered by challenges or new experiences. These moments prompt deep reflectionand transformation, changing career trajectories and fostering professional growth (Schön, 1992; Goodson & Sikes, 2001).
Below, we describe four instances whenteachers experienced tensions and turning points. We have labeled these moments as Becoming Language Teachers, Journeys of Growth and TransformationinTeaching Careers, Reemerging Identities and Renewed Perspectives inthe m.a., and From Imposed Roles to Critical Agents of Change.
Becoming Language Teachers
After analyzing the narratives of Johana and Carolina, it becomes evident that they both experienced similar tensions before and during their time as pre-service teachers. One commontensionthey both encountered was their initial underestimationof the teaching profession. For many individuals, teaching is not seenas a prestigious or financially rewarding career, which complicates the decisionto pursue it (Peynado et al., 2022). For instance, Johana initially did not consider teaching as a viable option.
“I had always envisioned myself pursuing a career in a different field. Teaching never really crossed my mind as something I would be passionate about. It was only later on that I started considering it as a possibility” (Johana’s narrative). Similarly, Carolina admitted, “I did not think about it as a possible career path... I never considered English as a field of work” (Carolina’s narrative).
These initial thoughts led them into a field of uncertainty and conflict with their future selves, due to prevai ling discourses about teaching as a profession (Pennycook, 2009). Furthermore, during their B.A. studies, both individuals encountered limited exposure to pedagogy, creating another shared tensionas they felt unprepared to surmount the challenges of teaching ina classroom. Carolina mentioned that her pedagogy class was merely anintroductory course that did not delve into the practical aspects of education. “My only contact with anything related to pedagogy was during a semester-long pedagogy class... it focused on describing the most renowned pedagogues in history” (Carolina’s narrative).
Likewise, Johana expressed a lack of guidance and mentorship inpedagogy, which affected her ability to develop effective teaching methods. She recounted, “I struggled to capture their attention, so I began searching for information on how to engage students with different practices in a classroom” (Johana’s narrative).
This tensión highlights the importance of learning to teach and the teaching practice inthe formationof one’s identity (Uştuk & Yazan, 2023). While pre-service teachers are expected to learnand understand pedagogy and didactics, many teacher educationprograms only address these issues superficially, resulting ingaps that create conflicts and impact teachers’ identities (Mosquera-Pérez & Losada-Rivas, 2022).
However, both Johana and Carolina overcame these tensions through various turning points intheir journeys. We understand turning points aligned with Kumaravadivelu’s (2006) concept of epistemic break-moments when individuals re-configure their former understandings with renewed perspectives nurtured by external sources. These turning points withintheir stories represent a renewed constructioninlight of their lived experiences. One commonturning point for both individuals was developing aninterest through informal teaching experiences. Johana’s involvement ina volunteer teaching program and Carolina’s experience teaching Spanish to international students sparked their passionfor teaching. Johana acknowledges the impact of her experiences. “I had terrible English teachers, but they allowed me to contemplate my future as an educator” (Johana’s narrative). Similarly, Carolina reflects onher transformative experience. “The experience truly changed my perspective on teaching... I enjoyed preparing my classes and discovering new and alternative ways to explain the language” (Carolina’s narrative).
The actions takenby the two participants demonstrate their transformationregarding their initial idea of becoming teachers. Consequently, both decided to invest intheir future selves by taking steps to become more knowledgeable educators (Norton, 2010; Peynado et al., 2022).
Johana and Carolina experienced another pivotal moment intheir journey, connected to their interactions with others. During these discursive exchanges, both participants negotiated their future selves and positioned themselves differently from their initial ideas about becoming teachers (Barkhuizen, 2015a). Johana emphasizes the influence of a teacher who invited her to collaborate. “She was a wonderful teacher who always helped and supported me... she encouraged students to strive for their best” (Johana’s narrative).
Similarly, Carolina’s turning points were influenced by the recommendationand guidance of a classmate and her thesis advisor. The suggestionmade by her classmate prompted Carolina to consider the teaching program, while her thesis advisor provided support throughout her studies. Carolina expresses her gratitude and states, “I always say I am a Linguist thanks to her” (Carolina’s narrative). Additionally, Carolina attributes a significant role inher decisionto pursue a teaching career to her former English teacher, who later became her thesis director. She acknowledges this support: “She selflessly helped me... I suppose” (Carolina’s narrative).
Johana and Carolina both encountered tensions as pre-service teachers, including underestimating the career path and limited exposure to pedagogy. However, they overcame these tensions through various turning points. These findings underscore the significance of supportive relationships, informal teaching experiences, and exposure to pedagogy inshaping the trajectories of pre-service teachers. At this moment of resolution, the second tensionappears.
Journeys of Growth and Transformation in Teaching Careers
After completing their majors, Johana and Carolina took different teaching positions at various educational institutions, facing new challenges that significantly impacted their professional identities. Initially, Johana faced difficulties securing a teaching positionafter graduation, emphasizing the significance of employment and profes sional growth inidentity formation. Reflecting onher experience, she stated, “I graduated in 2012 and attempted to find a position in a school, but it proved to be challenging” (Johana’s narrative). Similarly, Carolina encountered the challenge of starting her teaching career without prior experience, leading her to joina language school that provided training. She explained, “I applied for a job at this language school... they didn’t require previous experience, which was perfect for me at the time” (Carolina’s narrative).
These experiences highlight the everyday struggles faced by novice teachers, such as the gap betweentheore tical knowledge and practical application(Gray & Block, 2012; Sayer, 2012). Although they receive considerable informationand educationduring their initial training, it oftenproves insufficient for many schools or language institutions. Consequently, the knowledge, expertise, and identity of novice teachers are frequently overlooked, hindering their professional development (Gray & Block, 2012; Sayer, 2012).
Johana’s experience exemplifies this situationas she faced the challenge of teaching ina specialized school that catered to students from diverse social backgrounds and varied sociocultural milieus. This experience likely fostered her personal growth and resilience as aneducator. She shared, “I started working part-time at a Private school... where I taught classes to students with distinct social circumstances” (Johana’s narrative). Johana also faced tensiondue to a hostile work environment, where the principal’s behavior negatively impacting her self-esteem and professional confidence. She expressed, “The principal was extremely rude... she scolded me in front of the students” (Johana’s narrative). Despite this hostility, Johana demonstrated resilience by adapting to the complex dynamics of her teaching context (Gu & Day, 2013).
Johana found a turning point whenshe decided to switch to a public school with a special bilingual project. This opportunity allowed her to collaborate with her colleagues and develop a program that aligned with the interests of her students. She stated, “In July 2014, I applied for a job in a public school with a special bilingual project” (Johana’s narrative). However, Johana faced resistance from her colleagues, who were initially reluctant to embrace the bilingual project, underscoring the importance of managing professional relationships and addressing resistance to change. She explained, “Initially, most of the teachers at the school rejected the project” (Johana’s narrative). Johana experienced a breakthrough by successfully engaging students through various activities, projects, and games. Witnessing their creativity and growth fueled her sense of purpose and passionfor teaching. She remarked, “I had to find ways to engage students who didn’t like English... they surprised me with their creativity” (Johana’s narrative).
Carolina discovered the limitations of the school’s teaching methods and recognized the need to challenge bureaucratic practices to ensure a better learning experience for her students. She observed, “I noticed how the methods failed to serve the students’ interests... bureaucracy took precedence over the actual quality of the course... we instructors had to rebel and take charge” (Carolina’s narrative). Carolina faced tensionas she struggled to find her identity as a teacher withinthe confines of the strict teaching methods (Kumaravadivelu, 2012). She felt the urge to make her classes more dynamic and engaging, which clashed with the expectations of the school. She explained, “Classes used to be rigid and inauthentic... I felt the need to adapt... as a result, my performance suffered, and I felt like an incompetent teacher” (Carolina’s narrative). These feelings toward her ownpractice motivated Carolina to exercise her agency and improve her teaching experiences (Johnson & Golombek, 2018).
For Carolina, her turning point came whenshe shifted her focus from adhering to the school’s demands to prioritizing her students’ comfort, motivation, and well-being inthe learning process. As Carolina stated, “It is a hundred times more valuable to me that my students feel comfortable, motivated, and cared for... than completing a set of steps just to satisfy the institute’s demands” (Carolina’s narrative). This shift highlights Carolina’s focus onprioritizing the needs and well-being of her students, demonstrating her proactive approach to enhancing her teaching.
Another turning point inCarolina’s teaching career occurred whenshe recognized the importance of active listening and learning from her students. This connectionand interactionwith her students ignited her passionfor teaching and fueled her desire to provide them with a high-quality education. She expressed, “Two of the most valuable skills and joys I’ve gained from my occupation are... learning how to listen... and learning to learn from others’ stories” (Carolina’s narrative).
Her realizationunderscores the transformative potential of critical pedagogy infostering aninclusive and equitable educational environment (Freire, 1970). Interestingly, both participants sought opportunities for professional growth by enrolling ina master’s degree program inapplied linguistics for teaching English, which brought new tensions and turning points.
Reemerging Identities and Renewed Perspectives in the M.A.
Inthe master’s program, Johana and Carolina underwent a series of tensions betweentheir former practices, discourses, and selves. This experience impacted their current identities as teachers and led them to reclaim and negotiate identities that had beenovershadowed by the constraints of their previous teaching settings. The master’s program provided anopportunity to experience epistemic breaks (Kumaravadivelu, 2012) and reshape their practices and identities as teachers. Consequently, these reconstructions allowed them to foresee future opportunities that aligned more closely with their newly acquired perspectives onteaching, research, and their roles as teachers inthe field of ELT in Colombia.
The process of undertaking the master’s degree allowed Carolina and Johana to experience tensions both at anintellectual and practical level. Intellectually, they were challenged to questionpast colonizing notions about teaching and learning a foreignlanguage. Practically, they beganto adopt renewed teaching practices with a more socially responsive perspective.
Carolina, for example, questioned her role as a language teacher and whether she had contributed to a system that treated individuals differently based onthe language they use. She reflected, “I really realized, ok, I question myself, maybe am I perpetuating these beliefs about English, that English is superior, that other languages are inferior to English, or that people need English in order to have a better life?” (Carolina’s interview).
This intellectual tension, or epistemic break inKumaravadivelu’s (2012) terms, was echoed by Johana, who stated, “During the classes of the master, many aspects of my life have changed, first of all, the idea to perpetuate the instructional and repetitive method of colonization.” (Johana’s narrative). Therefore, their studies at the master’s program contributed to self-reflectionabout their past beliefs and teaching practices, ultimately helping them debunk preconceived perspectives that enforced a colonial view of language and teaching.
With their renewed perspectives onlanguage teaching and learning, Carolina and Johana reshaped their class room practices to alignwith a more critical and socially responsive agenda. Johana noted, “the idea to go beyond the traditional lines of the curricula and think about including the community to rebuild the structures and content at school to take into account funds of knowledge of the families at school” (Johana’s narrative). Both participants realized that their role as language teachers gave them the opportunity to effect meaningful changes to their students’ lives and the broader educational community. This realizationwas a result of the different practices carried out inthe master’s program. Carolina mentioned, “what we took with Professor Andrea about how we don’t really teach anything. We just teach like (...) something very superficial (...) But behind that we could do so much more or with that, along with the process during that we could do so much more. So maybe those two ideas made me change my perspectives about teaching English very much.” (Carolina’s interview). Therefore, both teachers adopted a more critical perspective towards their role inthe classroom, focusing onactivities that could empower their students and challenge colonizing views of language and teaching.
The master’s program also provided participants with the opportunity to negotiate and shape their identities. Both participants balanced their roles as teachers and researchers, and inthe case of Carolina, as a linguist as well. While their teaching environments offered limited opportunities to carry out research, the master’s program expanded the possibilities for integrating their identities as both teachers and researchers.
At this point, their identities (re)emerged as paths towards embracing more sustained identities as teacher-re searchers. Carolina noted, “I was just thinking, ok, I’ll be a teacher. It may be, if I get a master’s, I’ll be a university teacher. But that’s it, like teaching English at the university. Now, I really want to incorporate research into my career, my profession as well.” (Carolina’s narrative).
Thus, Carolina started balancing her multiple selves, which reemerged as a result of the opportunity to engage inresearch onlinguistics. She mentioned, “I mean, when I was a linguist, I was a linguist researcher. Then, I was a teacher. And now I am hoping to recover that identity of a teacher, researcher, and a linguist.” (Carolina’s narrative). The master’s program became the space where these identities could converge and negotiate new ways of being inher educational settings.
For Johana, the master’s program was only anopportunity to (re)shape her teaching practices but also the space to carry out research with a critical perspective. She asserted, “I understood that the focus on this master’s is totally different (...) the purpose of this one [master’s] is social change. And I think I tried to address my project in this way” (Johana’s narrative). Thus, her teacher-researcher identity sought to embrace a more socially responsive agenda that benefitted not only her students but also their neighborhoods and communities. As a result of this process, she experienced tensions with her former teacher-researcher self, who was mainly focused ondeveloping successful strategies for teaching grammar. This shift was reflected inher master’s research project, which aimed to reconcile the language curriculum with students’ communities. She mentioned, “I changed my mind about how to teach grammar to work with community-based pedagogies to motivate students to think critically based on a critical pedagogy” (Johana’s narrative).
Consequently, the master’s program itself constituted both tensions and turning points for both participants. Their former perspectives were subject to reflectionand transformationas a result of the texts, discussions, and activities carried out inthe different seminars. Johana mentioned, “For instance, presentations, dialogues, debates, guest speakers, interesting readings, reflective inquiry to permit us to develop agency and motivate us to have a different attitude as Language Teachers” (Johana’s narrative). For Carolina, the turning points involved debunking deficit discourses, such as the notionof a native-like accent being the standard for language proficiency. She asserted, “maybe those are stereotypes and that idea that you need to be like the gringos, you have to, you need to speak English, but like the gringos. So maybe I don’t do that anymore because I realized that’s, I mean, problematic” (Carolina’s narrative).
These reconstructions inthe master’s program prompted participants to envisionimagined identities as future language teachers and educators. Imagined identities and communities reflect individuals’ capacity to imagine and desire their belonging to specific communities. This imagined prospectionallows individuals to positionthemselves as partaking inthe standard shared practices and spaces of a particular group (Kanno & Norton, 2003). Carolina’s imagined self-related “to be a university professor, and I would like to work with all three things, research, linguistics, and English” (Carolina’s narrative). For Johana, her imagined self is one that implements socially-responsive projects rather thansolely focusing onthe improvement of language skills. These imagined identities mirror participants’ renewed constructions as teacher-researchers emerging from their participationinthe master’s program.
From Imposed Roles to Critical Agents of Change
This last sectionprovides anaccount of the fourth tensionand turning point encountered throughout the partici pants’ journey of narratively reconstructing their professional identities. Our analysis revealed that the tensions experienced inthe three previous sections served the purpose of allowing participants to reflect ontheir ownexperiences and foresee opportunities for change. As the master’s program became a significant milestone intheir professional path, Johana’s and Carolina’s narratives evidenced a process of transformationtowards more critical agendas. The fact that they had challenged their former notions about teaching and learning a foreignlanguage as a result of their master’s studies evidenced how they exerted agency towards reconstructing their past selves and transforming, initially their discourses and later, their practices as language teachers.
As discussed earlier, Carolina and Johana challenged the imperialist and oftencolonizing views onEnglish, the native-like accent, and the curriculum (Philipson, 1992). This helped them not only to understand the pervasiveness of underlying discourses intheir roles as teachers but also to envisionways of resisting these ideas through their ownpractice as language teachers. Carolina evenquestioned the often-structured way inwhich research is written, aligning with the criticism made by Canagarajah (1996) about the rigid features of research writing. She mentio ned “There must be some standards. But sometimes, I think they are too structured or too inflexible. And I mean, there must be another way, right? to do research.” (Carolina’s narrative). This excerpt shows how Carolina evenquestions imposed models of writing about research and how research, as a way of representing her teacher-researcher identity, is oftenstructured, oppressive, and rigid. The fact that she questions the inflexible nature of research writing illustrates how she exerts agency to dismantle imposed models of doing and being.
For Johana, resisting imposed models meant taking tangible actions inthe classroom that promoted social change inthe communities. Johana experienced tensions during the master’s program whenshe realized that her role as a language teacher was not solely to find ways to improve language skills or include projects so that students could learnina differently. Her tensions involved finding ways for her teaching contributed to the social transformationof deprived communities inthe neighborhood where she taught. She noted, “I think one of my biggest dreams is to continue working for a better situation for each one of my students in different places, in different contexts.” (Johana’s narrative). Thus, we analyzed how this paradigm shift towards language and teaching reflected her options for resisting imposed models that circulated around her teaching scenarios.
Furthermore, we analyzed how, by engaging inthe master’s program, they reached a turning point towards reflexivity onsocial issues from a critical perspective. This process reflected their agency and transformationinto agents of change. Inthis context, we understood that the participants not only exerted agency whenchanging their discourses and practices inschool but that their agency bestowed a deeper dimension. This involved Carolina’s and Johana’s capacity to critically problematize the discourses that had positioned them withina specific way of being, and therefore acting, while assuming a renewed positionality as teachers, researchers, linguists, and future educators who challenged these long-imposed models of being (Kumaravadivelu, 2012; Rudolph et al., 2018). For Carolina, her turning point involved seeing her professional self as detached from the imposed agenda of aninstructor at a language institute, but instead embracing renewed positionalities that are more aligned with her envisioned selves. She commented,
I used to see myself only as an instructor; I am now building my identity as a teacher-researcher. I used to conform to following given steps; I hope from now on, my story that will not lack inquiry, reflection, innovation, and hopefully, meaningful learning through interaction, connections and relationships; between myself and learners, among learners themselves and learners and their realities. (Carolina’s narrative).
This turning point resulted from participants’ ownreflections ontheir personal, professional, and academic selves withintheir past, present, and future constructions. It illustrates how, despite the conditions intheir teaching scenarios, the circulating discourses onlanguage teaching and learning, and the often-imposed roles intheir educational settings, their educationinthe master’s program allowed them to resist these dynamics and discourses, positioning themselves as agents of change and transformation. The concept of “agents of change” refers to individuals who actively seek to alter or improve social, educational, or organizational systems. This role requires critical awareness and a commitment to social justice, as articulated by Freire (1970), who emphasizes the importance of conscientization-raising critical awareness-and praxis, the actionand reflectionuponthe world to transform it.
For Johana, her turning point involved embracing a more humanizing pedagogy, which meant seeking actions to transform the realities of her students.
“We also need to be social human beings to lead the process of emancipation, where education takes the real place. We have the power to transform society with our behavior as teachers. And if we act together our voice as a community will be heard.” (Johana’s narrative).
This statement reflects her understanding of educationas a vehicle for emancipationand social change, aligning with hooks’ (1994) concept of engaged pedagogy, which advocates for teaching that goes beyond knowledge transfer to empower and uplift marginalized communities.
Therefore, we analyzed how Johana’s turning point implies becoming anagent of change by raising awareness of the social issues withinher community and striving for social transformation. We understood that the master’s program provided her with the opportunity to integrate a critical dimensioninto her practices, discourses, and classroom dynamics, thereby challenging oppressive structures and fostering a more equitable educational environment. Through these critical engagements, Johana exemplifies the role of teachers as agents of change, capable of influencing not only their immediate educational settings but also the broader social fabric.
Conclusions
This study shed light onthe tensions and turning points experienced by in-service teachers before entering a master’s teacher educationprogram and during the initial semesters inthe program. Johana and Carolina, the two participants, faced both unique and shared tensions from their undergraduate studies to their current teaching experiences. They overcame these tensions through various turning points, which significantly contributed to their professional identity construction. The tensions and turning points they experienced highlighted the importance of supportive relationships, informal teaching experiences, exposure to pedagogy, and professional growth opportunities inshaping the trajectories of in-service teachers. Supportive teachers and mentors played a crucial role inreshaping their perceptions and supporting their decisionto pursue teaching careers.
As they entered the profession, Johana and Carolina encountered challenges related to their identities and workplace demands, including adapting to students’ diverse backgrounds, navigating a rigid curriculum, and dealing with bureaucratic practices. A significant turning point was enrolling ina master’s program inapplied linguistics for teaching English, which allowed them to reflect onand challenge colonizing language teaching notions and adopt a socially conscious approach. They embraced research and became teacher-researchers, with the master’s program providing a transformative space for self-reflection, intellectual growth, and the re-emergence of their identities as teacher-researchers. These findings underscore the critical role of teacher educationinfostering teacher autonomy and reflective practice, particularly inchallenging dominant pedagogical discourses. To enhance the development of such a role inteacher identities, it is recommended that educational institutions and policymakers prioritize continuous professional development and create supportive environments that encourage reflective practice and research integration.
The implications for the ELT field inColombia highlight the importance of supporting in-service teachers through continuous professional development that is contextually relevant and responsive to local needs. Teacher educationprograms inColombia must address the tensions and turning points experienced by teachers, such as underestimating the career path, limited pedagogy exposure, challenges insecuring teaching positions, and conflicts with institutional demands. Comprehensive educationshould be provided, including practical and experiential learning, mentorship programs, and exposure to diverse and contextualized teaching approaches. Additionally, teacher educationprograms should encourage critical reflectionand the development of a socially responsive perspective, empowering teachers to challenge dominant discourses and promote inclusive and transformative educationpractices. Ultimately, these efforts will be vital incultivating a critically engaged and socially responsive teaching workforce capable of addressing the complex educational challenges in Colombia.